Open Space
by aya hineshi
Summary: Max realizing Alec's strength. Setting is after Hello, Goodbye. Enjoy the read. Im not really good at summaries so you have to forgive me for that.
1. Default Chapter

Open Space

MA

(Max point of view)

I see him. Arrogance in perfection.

Amazing how he pulls it off. I envy his confidence, his self worth.

I have been out too long. Out of touch with myself. No one understands. Not even my siblings. Ben would have. But Ben isn't here anymore. For all that he has become, Ben would have understood. I think he even understood me when he was fighting me...

Would a replica understand? Would the other half of a soul understand me?

Even all this time, I am amazed how he could understand or even try for my sake, he just shows it differently. Never saw it that way before. Too blinded by my anger, my fear and my pain. I keep forgetting the fact that he literally grew up in Manticore. A guilt I never cease to feel every time I think about it. What pain he went through, what torture, what loneliness. And I made it worst when he got out. Pushing him when he needed understanding. I am such a moron. And I'm supposed to be the invincible leader and to think I'm the reason he's out. Another count in my guilt list.

I on the other hand have deluded myself that I could be normal. I have been pretending to be normal for so long, I have literally deluded myself to really believe. The power of suggestion. That's Manticore training for you. To the core I will become who I am supposed to be, to survive. Stupid me to fall for that trap. I was trained better, proven myself better to fall for the manipulations of my training. And yet in my greatness I did fall. Hard.

Only made aware of my predicament by the existence of a kindred soul.

I have been jarred back to reality with his presence in my life. Made me realize what I have been doing to myself. Made me see the truth.

Funny. Him being Ben's twin. Never took the time to get to know him. Afraid of loving him too and then end up killing him. No thanks. Ill deal with my loneliness. I can't deal with that kind of loss again. Hurts too damn much. Still does actually.

I guess I often picked a fight with him before because of the fact that I was uncomfortable with myself. First it was the delusion that he destroyed my relationship with Logan.

I was in hiding. Still am in a way, but not so much as before. Didn't want to get too close. Didn't want him to see.

I used to push him away because I thought I would see Ben every time I look at him. Funny about life, it doesn't give you what you expect.

They are two different people. Too similar but too different to make that stupid mistake again. They are both tortured people. Ben was a lost soul. Alec is a different story. He owns everything he touches that he doesn't lose himself. _Brave one how I have been so blind._

I know I've hurt him not just physically but emotionally. My words often draw blood and yet he lets me. Never knew the extent of his sacrifice. He is stronger and more powerful than I. an alpha male, and yet, he allows me to push him, to hurt him, to bleed him_. Powerful one, what have I done to you?_

_Who am I to deserve your compassion?_

He understands me better than I do myself...

I have been a constant pain in the ass. Bitching at him most of the time. Throwing in his face what he had done to me and Logan.

Excuses, excuses, I know. Like my delusion; Logan was out of my psyche the moment I realized the truth, yes I am a freak, and I love being one. But still I pined over Logan like a bitch in heat. Silly me. Or was it a defense mechanism not to let him near? Manticore never trained us on dealing with angst. Bloody idiots, now most of us transgenics are drowning on it.

Telling him about Ben has been the right decision after all. I don't have to pretend anymore. Although I thought by then I would be free to express my guilt and pain when ever I see him, thinking I would be seeing Ben. And he would understand. Funny really, when I started to really be more open, I don't see Ben in him. I see him. Alec. Brave, strong, compassionate, proud...free.


	2. Chapter 2 Alec

Open Space

Chapter 2

(Alec point of view)

I know she's there. Watching. Always watching.

I used to hate it when she does that. I felt so inept. Like she doesn't trust me enough to handle anything, adding the fact that most of the scrapes I got into she's been the one saving my ass, I guess I can't blame her. I have been fucking up her life the moment we met, hell, even before we met. Thanks Ben, been pretty busy marring my name with your blue lady obsession.

But now it feels different. After busting me out the joint for Ben's crimes, after knowing the sacrifice she gave for Ben's sake, after knowing that she gave a piece of her soul so he won't be taken back to Manticore, after knowing she killed the one person who made her smile when she was behind the walls of Manticore...It has been different. She has become more human in my eyes. No longer my CO. no longer the X5 I an alpha male have allowed to rule me. No longer just another transgenic. No longer the delusional X5 who got warped up in Logan's Hero Complex in saving the world.

She is simply Max now. Kindred.

And it dawns on me why she always kicks my ass on every stupid scrape I get into. She cared. Simply cared about me.

Even protesting and kicking she would follow to save me, to protect me. From the world and from myself.

She gave up her one chance for the cure which I had a part of in the execution, so she could save me, even when I was killing my kind and betraying her minute of a fraction faith in me.

After all this time I ask myself how she could have the heart to have made that sacrifice for me.

And so I stayed by her side. Making her angry, irritated and furious.

_You are more alive that way Maxie. I hated seeing you so crestfallen mooning over wonderboy._

_And you're there, watching again. Always watching._

Her stare doesn't sting with accusation or mistrust anymore. Different. More humane. And I bask in her understanding and acceptance. I have never felt more at peace.

_Could this feeling get any better...I think it can..._

I feel the lilt in my walk, more proud now, no longer a bravado to get by. Not anymore. This world and their violations and predicaments no longer haunt me, no need for the pretenses. With her watching, the world fades, yet the world is more sharper, no longer a threat, knowing she's there and she understands.

She used to intrigue me, Hell even now. But it's different. Before she was just a curiosity...and now? An obsession is more like it.

I never knew the depth of my need for her would be like this.

I never thought I could willingly let someone walk all over me the way I let her. I did; just for her. If I cannot have her then let it be said that at least I was there for her, even if I was simply a punching bag.

I could take her out. I am far stronger, my training more extensive. That's Manticore for you. Thorough.

But I let her.

Her will and soul was more than I assumed it to be. I bow down to that kind of strength. I never had it, never had the motivation or the need...now I do.

Thanks to her.

I could take her, make her succumb to me. Submit herself to me. She is a transgenic, in her heat cycle I could have claimed her. Or I could have killed Logan. So easy.

But self-possession holds me back. I want more than her defeat. I want her in her own footing. I need her acceptance. And I wanted her to see...me. All that I am.

Logan Cale is merely a name. She may have worshipped him once, her knight in shining armor. She may have bled for him so many times, her damn anchor to normality. Adored him so much she was willing to lay her life for him, made him her weakness, not knowing it wasn't returned equally as she gave herself up. Even went low as to take all the pain so he might live. Gave a little piece of her soul each time.

I guess getting busted by Ben's crimes hasn't all been such a drag. Made her remember what she is, made her accept that we may not be human genetically but our soul made up for it. Made her open up to me. Made me see I mean something to her.

"_Thank you Ben for the gift."_

Maybe now there is a chance. I won't let her slip from me.

I'll fight for her. Logan can go to hell. I won't stand by while some idealistic boy uses her for his own agendas. I don't think I can stand to watch him treating her as some kind of pet or toy, sending her off to his missions. Stupid human.

I used to respect him, out of respect for Max. I needed her acceptance on a less deeper level then. I didn't understand my needs back then.

I almost felt pity whenever I could see the longing in his face when the craving to touch her was too great. Almost.

I realized I couldn't stand to watch or even imagine him touching her. What right has he?

She deserves better. I am better if not the best.

She should see that. I am Alec...and she gave me my name...my soul. And as gratitude for caring enough:

I'll set her free.

_And you're there watching again. Always watching._

_Take a step Maxie. Don't be afraid, I won't let you fall. I promise. Just take a step and let go._


	3. Chapter 3 Life Line

Open Space

Chapter 3

Max

I see in his eyes an understanding. I falter and feel myself getting dizzy with the knowledge that he knows. Panic hovers around me, squeezing my heart to stop.

And all I can hear is the beating of my heart, felt the panic, the despair of discovery...and I feel myself on a flat line.

_Breathe Max. Breathe._

I opened my eyes, just noticing that I have closed them to stare back at him.

What do I do?

He knows.

I can see it.

He can sense my need. _Run Max_.

But I falter further when I notice the emotion storming in his eyes.

Waves and waves of that emotion making his eyes look the raging of an icy sea.

Need. He needs me.

Alec watched as Max approached him with a slight smile. He forgets to breathe for a moment as she watched her move, no longer hindered to pretend she's normal. Her natural feline grace evident in every play of her body.

"Hey Alec"

She speaks softly.

Alec stares at her without acknowledging her greeting. Becoming a bit unnerved, Max touches his arm lightly her fingers making contact with his warm skin.

Alec blinks and gives her a rueful smile. "Hey Max" he responds as softly as she did.

_One step it's enough. It is a lifeline._


	4. Chapter 4 Happiness

Open Space

Chapter 4

Logan stands transfixed at the entrance of Jam Pony.

Wanting to confront Max further on what he saw outside her apartment. Max and Alec. He came here.

Having not heard a single denial of his accusation...all his dreams faltered in their creation. His Dark angle taking flight.

He spent the entire night thinking he should go to Max and apologize for his accusations, thinking it will make her realize he is the better person, the more compassionate one.

But what he sees make him falter in his quest to gain Max back.

He watched as Max drew closer to Alec, touching his forearm to get his attention and saying something he could not hear due to the noise made by JP messengers coming in and out around him.

And he saw Alec blink and mumbles something back to Max.

He saw Max smile slightly and put her right hand over his heart, endearing.

He watched further as Alec draws her close in his arms, tucking her head under his chin; his left arm encircling her waist while the other holds the back of her head, soothing. Calming.

And they stayed there unmindful of the noise or some of their friends looking at them with shock, or of him with despair.

Looking at both of them now, he knows he had been too late.

The joining is more real this time having to witness it a few feet instead of the safety of his car in a dark street. A peace never felt from both was radiating around them...within them.

They looked real. He gazed at them longer, envy and despair battling to shape his facial features, thinking if he and Max ever looked that real...that connected.

And suddenly Alec turns to look directly at him. Sensing his presence or more likely smelled his scent; his despair. And he sees the possessiveness. The anger. The need. And the promise to hurt him if he so as much walks closer.

With a rueful smile, hoping Alec understands his action as conceding to him; he turns his back.

_She was never mine anyway. I was an old fool thinking I can clip her wings and keep her. Her kind had more hold on her than I did. Even when she came to save my life more often than I could count. Her siblings were her life. She bled for them because of me._

_Although she never blamed me, for which I am thankful or I'd have been pulp by now, I knew deep down, she could have if she wanted to. But in everything she blamed herself. Her strength was no match for me. Ever. And her compassion, complete. My normality or being human fades into nothing compared to her soul. I guess that's what drew me to her. I wanted her life, her strength and her soul._

_And in my ineptness I put them all in a jar to keep, until she was hardly the dark angel who stormed into his life and stolen his breath away._

And looking at them now...Alec can match her strength anytime. And they are sharing that strength now.

_I guess I have to let go, even if I want to or not, I have to._

_I know Alec won't have any mercy in him for me. He sees more than Max ever did. And he won't hesitate this time, knowing Max would let her guards down for him._

_The perfect soldier. The perfect mate. Self preservation, I will not come between them anymore._

_I will not come between her and her happiness ever again. It is enough._

And so in a busy JP, two cats are in the middle of the platform, holding each other. OC and Stretchy watch with amusement at the two but never making a move to disturb them.

Not even Normal was loath to disturb the peace they seem to be sharing.

Owari

Seerborn

October 3, 2004

1:34 pm


End file.
